Obituary of Ryan Andrew Penner

Ryan Andrew Penner, age 35 years, of Mitchell, MB., passed away on Monday, December 16, 2019, in Pine Falls, MB, after a sharp decline in his health due to his serious addiction issues. 

Ryan was predeceased by his father, Laverne Penner in 2012 and a dear friend, Christy in BC in 2014.

He is survived by his mother Brenda, and her husband, Leroy Penner; one dear sister, Cynthia Penner and her four children who were very precious to Ryan:  nephews Casey, Keegan and Quinnton and niece Payton; older brother Barry Penner, and his daughters Lillie and Hannah and their mother Jaimie; younger brother Trenton Penner and his wife Rachel and sons Samuel and Phinehas.  Ryan is also survived by his foster mother Judy Getty Shagnon with whom he lived during his high school years and connected with for the rest of his life and his birth mother Shannon Bennet. 

Ryan was born in Winnipeg on November 26, 1984.  In September 1986 Ryan, together with his birth sister, Cynthia, joined our family as younger siblings to our son Barry.  That made him the youngest of three preschoolers. Another brother, Trenton, was born 14 months later.

We will always remember and deeply miss Ryan’s beautiful, wide smile, his artistic and athletic giftedness, and his friendly, gentle spirit.

Ryan had “a way with people” as his brother put it; he was very personable, had an amazing way of connecting, making friends easily.  He had a gentle, laid-back nature.  One example of this was when he was a youngster. Mom, with us kids went to pick up Dad from work and the older two siblings with lots of racket and excitement greeted Dad as he got into the car.  We were already on our way when they finally settled down and then Ryan spoke up from the back seat, ‘Hello Dad!’  He didn’t need to be the centre of attention but he’d still give his greeting as well. It was not unusual to see Ryan laughing and playing with strangers in the park behind our house as if he was a long time friend because he somehow just quietly assimilated with new people.

From early on it was evident that Ryan liked to figure out how things were put together.  Hot-wheel vehicles and other toys would be found taken apart in more ways than we thought possible, not broken but dismantled.  That interest continued into his adulthood as he had a real knack for doing mechanical work on motor bikes, vehicles and just about anything else.  Just this last October he talked about how much better he felt when he had some machine to tinker on as he felt able.  

He was visually astute, and could navigate via visual cues long before he could read.  Ryan was a very gifted artist.  When he was young, we’d play Pictionary as a family and he’d draw while everyone was wildly guessing.  Without getting flustered, he’d calmly compete his drawing and we’d all know exactly what the object was.   As an adult he used that skill in his tattooing work and detailing on motorbikes or helmets. 

Ryan was a naturally gifted athlete.  He loved playing hockey and did so from about Grade 5 to the end of high school, playing on a Triple A team in Winnipeg for the last year or so.  He was always big for his age so he played defence and gave hard body checks.  Dad faithfully went to watch his games and during the warm ups Ryan would be sure to do a resounding slap shot into the boards as he came by to wave at him in the stands.  

Dad loved to tell the story about driving Ryan to various places as a teen.  Even though it was quite cool outside, Ryan, wearing his muscle shirt, would roll down the window with his arm out and give a big smile and wave to passersby, not just to be friendly, but also to show off his muscled physique.  

Ryan initiation in working with motorcycles started with his first job working at Joe’s Bike Shop on North Main in Winnipeg.  He really loved that job as well as his next one, at Winnipeg Sport & Leisure in his early 20’s. When ownership changed at the Yamaha hope Ryan’s rapport with the new bosses became strained so he didn’t stay.  He did have some good years of employment in Vancouver and was the very proud owner of a Hummer for a few years while living there. Though he had a variety of other jobs usually related to tattooing and repairing motorbikes, Ryan was never really able to get back on his feet for any length of time after the death of our dad in 2012.  Then when his close friend, Christy, died in a bicycle/car accident near their home in July 2014, life kind of spiralled downward.  

Roxi, Ryan’s long time canine companion, was the love of his life.  After Christie died, he also took in Dexter, the dog he had gifted to her.  They meant the world to him and he often spoke of how they were his truest friends, sticking by him through thick and thin. During this past year he would leave the dogs with various friends, always hoping his life would again stabilize enough for him to be able to care for them himself.  Thank you to those friends who took his dogs in.  I know Ryan went looking for them this past October, hoping to be able to get them back but he still wasn’t in a place where that was feasible. 

During the last five years, from what we as a family saw, he resorted to drugs to try to cope with life’s difficulties.  Though we still had glimpses of the fun-loving, gentle spirited, family loving son and brother, the addictive lifestyle of dependence on drugs took over.  He hated that life and wanted to be productive and in good relationships again but it was a very hard fight.  He was frequently malnourished and developed severe cases of cellulitis in his legs so walking was very painful.  His health deteriorated significantly and he had numerous hospital stays. He was not an easy patient, demanding and impatient and seemingly hoping for opiate treatments to help deaden the pain he was enduring. Though he managed to find people to take him in for the nights he was essentially homeless for the past number of years.

We ached for the old Ryan as we watched the destructive, addictive lifestyle take over his life.  At times he would call out for help.  We slowly, and too late, came to realize that our responses were not necessarily helpful as they may have enabled his addiction.  He spent 6 months in Headingley Correctional Institution this past year.  During that time he got clean but was still very unwell and had many medical appointments and some hospital stays.  This is when his Celica (gluten allergy) was diagnosed. After he was placed on the correct diet he regained weight and his health greatly improved.  When he was released in early October he stated that being incarcerated had saved his life and he was eager to get on his feet again and start a new life.  This euphoria did not last very long as he just did not seem to have the energy to do the work necessary to get himself going again. Meanwhile he resisted any idea of going to a  treatment facility. After three weeks of lethargy at Cynthia’s place he again found friends to take him in, still claiming that he was staying clean. We realized, however, this was not the case.  Mom spent Friday, November 8th with Ryan and last saw him on the next day when she & Leroy dropped him off at a friend’s place. We later heard he’d gone up to Pine Falls, MB, but during his last 6 weeks he made no contact with Mom, until the night before he passed away.  That last evening he did have a brief online chat with Mom, saying he’d been to the hospital in that area and that he’d been told he only had days left to live but that he’d forced his way out of the hospital.  In a conversation with the people who took him in during his last two weeks we’ve learned that he left the hospital because they would not give him the kind of pain medication he felt he needed. Then, on Monday morning, December 16, 2019, he did not wake up.

This is not the way we wanted things to end for Ryan.  We so hoped he would be able to beat the addiction and grow to fulfill the tremendous potential we saw in him.  In that final brief online chat he had with Mom he indicated he was just waiting and we realize now that he knew he was close to death and resigned to that. 

We believe that our loving God, who is upholding us in this time of sadness also knew about Ryan’s tortured existence these past years and the pain and heartaches of life that led him into it.  Ryan has been an inspiration and friend to many people over the years and that is the person we are remembering and missing and whose life we want to celebrate.  We are grateful for the many good times we had with him and grieve the hard life he ended up having.  We believe God was hurting with Ryan in those hard times. We commit our dear son, brother and friend into God’s loving embrace.

The family would like to send a special thanks to the many friends that loved and supported Ryan and our family over the years and especially to Roger and his girlfriend Vanessa of Pine Falls who took Ryan in during the last two weeks of his life.  Thank you for giving shelter to this stranger.  Your kindness to him is heartwarming to us at this time.

The memorial service will be held on Friday, January 3, 2020, at 11:00 a.m. at Birchwood Funeral Chapel, Steinbach, MB., with reception to follow in the reception hall.